I hear a lot about gluten allergies, and see gluten-free everything when I’m at the grocery store (they even have an entire gluten-free section!). I know Celiac disease is a real thing and must monumentally suck for those that actually have it, but it also seems like it’s one of the new healthy diet trends gone overboard. I know people that actually FREAK OUT when in a 5-foot radius of gluten. That seems like a bit much. Sometimes I think about telling them that all food is slightly radioactive to see how they react to that, but I don’t. However, I sure seem to cross the line:

When I lived in Orlando, “most” of my co-workers had a gluten allergy. One, (or was it three? ) of them had Celiac Disease… So, naturally, during my visit to Kansas (the wheat state, anyone?) for my sister’s wedding, I plucked some wheat from the very farmland she said her vows on to bring back as gifts for all my lovely co-workers. Personally, I love surprises, but some of my gluten hater co-workers failed to see the humor in getting back to their desks just to see a sprig of Kansas wheat waiting to greet them. Hmm, too much? C’mon, that shit is funny. Get over yourself. One of them refused to touch it for fear she might have a gluten attack of some sort. Maybe I’m just a bitch. I always got marked low on the “plays well with others” portion of my elementary school report cards…

Gluten-free beer?! Really? I want extra gluten, damnit!

Wheat field
Wheat Field in Kansas. Photo source: Brian McGuirk