I love teaching math. You may think I love it because I’m:

  • contributing to society
  • helping people learn
  • “doing good”

That stuff is great and all, but what I truly find satisfying is making inappropriate math jokes in class.

You really cannot go wrong starting an algebra lecture by asking

What kind of bra does a mermaid wear? An algae-bra. 

Little MermaidOr, have fun with abbreviating math terms on the board… Associative property becomes Ass Pro or Ass Prop. And, if you are feeling especially adventurous, abbreviate Analytical Functions.

Yeah. See what I mean?! And you thought math wasn’t any fun. It’s all SORTS of fun. I put the fun in function, baby.

My new favorite “inappropriateness” is when I am teaching how to use Vernier calipers in my Technical Math class. I begin lecture by apologizing to my female students for any discomfort the lesson may cause since it may remind them of a trip to the gynecologist. Then I have to wait for a minute as I watch them all question if they’ve actually heard me right – and then I show the slide with a huge picture of the caliper on it to alleviate any doubt they may still have about my crudeness.

Vernier Caliper Amazon
Vernier caliper. Or is it a speculum?

It’s the most fun to watch the really young guys. Ha ha. Sometimes, they have no idea. Poor guys.

So, teacher of the year?