Miss Inappropriate

I love teaching math. You may think I love it because I’m:

• contributing to society
• helping people learn
• “doing good”

That stuff is great and all, but what I truly find satisfying is making inappropriate math jokes in class.

You really cannot go wrong starting an algebra lecture by asking

What kind of bra does a mermaid wear? An algae-bra. 

Or, have fun with abbreviating math terms on the board… Associative property becomes Ass Pro or Ass Prop. And, if you are feeling especially adventurous, abbreviate Analytical Functions.

Yeah. See what I mean?! And you thought math wasn’t any fun. It’s all SORTS of fun. I put the fun in function, baby.

My new favorite “inappropriateness” is when I am teaching how to use Vernier calipers in my Technical Math class. I begin lecture by apologizing to my female students for any discomfort the lesson may cause since it may remind them of a trip to the gynecologist. Then I have to wait for a minute as I watch them all question if they’ve actually heard me right – and then I show the slide with a huge picture of the caliper on it to alleviate any doubt they may still have about my crudeness.

Vernier caliper. Or is it a speculum?

It’s the most fun to watch the really young guys. Ha ha. Sometimes, they have no idea. Poor guys.

So, teacher of the year?